Treat our women right

By Rev SEIK PITOI - The National

DOMESTIC violence is a big problem all over the world. Regardless of the level of sophistication or crudeness of the society or nation, the ugly scourge of domestic violence, or specifically, violence against women and girls, will always be found. We in PNG are no exception.

Violence in the home is the wilful intimidation or physical and sexual assault perpetrated by one partner against another, especially a domineering male over his spouse. The violence is not only physical and sexual, but also includes psychological and emotional abuse. The epidemic of domestic violence often results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death. The physical, emotional, and psychological consequences can cross generations and last a lifetime.

Abuse in relationships
There may be small tell-tale signs in a relationship that a person will become violent in later years. His hot temper or simple acts of jealousy in the beginning stages of the relationship may give him away. However, with her head in the clouds, the glassy-eyed young bride-to-be often glosses over these indicators, taking them as her boyfriend showing his affection for her.
Later, as the young couple marry and begin their journey in life together, problems may arise in time, such as marital unfaithfulness on the part of the husband who never thought he could be swayed away from the love of his life. Suddenly, he is caught out, initially denying the act, and then becoming violent to cover his wrongs. So begins the cycle of violence in the home.
Abusers gradually become more aggressive and controlling over time. They may begin with behaviours that may easily be downplayed such as possessiveness, or distrust. They may apologise profusely for their actions or try to convince the person they are abusing that they do these things out of love or care.
However, violence and control always intensify over time with an abuser, despite the apologies. What may start out as something that was first believed to be harmless (e.g., wanting the victim to spend all their time only with them because they love them so much) escalates into extreme control and abuse (e.g., threatening to kill or hurt the victim or others if they speak to family, friends, etc.).
Some examples of abusive tendencies include, but are not limited to:

• Accusing the victim of cheating;
• Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members;
• Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs;
• Controlling every penny spent in the household;
• Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing;
• Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do;
• Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc;
• Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone);
• Preventing the victim from making their own decisions;
• Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
• Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons;
• Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
• Forcing sex with others
• Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol, and;
• Preventing the victim from working or attending school, harassing the victim at either, keeping their victim up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school.

A solemn march through the community.

Domestic violence does not always end when the victim escapes the abuser. Often, it intensifies because the abuser feels a loss of control over the victim. In fact, the victim is often in the most danger directly following the escape of the relationship or when they seek help.
Unfair blame is frequently put upon the victim of abuse because of assumptions that victims choose to stay in abusive relationships. The truth is, bringing an end to abuse is not a matter of the victim choosing to leave; it is a matter of the victim being able to safely escape their abuser, the abuser choosing to stop the abuse, or others (e.g., law enforcement, courts) holding the abuser accountable for the abuse they inflict.” (Source – www.ncadv.org).

In Melanesia
Domestic violence is a big problem in Melanesia. Culturally, people are taught that females are inferior to males, and with the payment of ‘bride price”, many men think they have purchased property. That means, he can do as he likes in going out with other ladies while she is not to do or say anything because she ‘has been bought’! This is wrong.
Because many of us call ourselves Christians, we must realise that we are subject to “Biblical Culture”. God’s Word is supra-cultural, in that, it is over and above all cultures of mankind which are tainted with sin (Gen 3). While we have many wonderful traits found in our cultures, when it comes to how we are to treat our womenfolk, we must obey the Bible. The Bible tells us:

• Woman was created from the body of man – not from his head to rule over him; nor from his feet to be trampled on by him – but from his side, to stand equal with him! (Gen 2:21-22). Treat your wife as your equal in God’s eyes.
• God has His roles for marriage spelt out in the Bible:
• Women are to submit to and respect their husband as their family head, as they would to the Lord (Eph 5:22, 23). Respect his place of authority. When making decisions, make helpful suggestions, but allow him the final say. If it fails, he wears it – not you!

However, before we charge the Bible with male chauvinism, please note the balance to this –

• Men are to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church and died for her (Eph 5: 25). Jesus forgave the church (His Bride) of her sins, loves and cares for her, provides for her and protects her. He also died for her to give her life. That is what God expects of every husband to do for his wife, and no less. A man is to sacrificially love and respect his wife, provide for her and protect her – not hurt her! Only when a man loves his wife unconditionally will she show heartfelt submission to his headship!
• A man sets examples for his sons by how he treats the women in his home. His love and respect for his wife (their mother) and his daughters will set a worthy example for his sons to follow. Sons who abuse their wives usually grew up witnessing abuse of their mother by their father. And so the cycle continues.

In society, the church is called upon to preach against violence against women and girls. The church has a moral duty to teach what the bible says about gender equity, respect for women and girls, and God’s plan for the home. The best way to “preach” this to the community is “live” it.
Pastors, church leaders and members should love and honour their wives in such a way that non-believers will begin take note. But when violence against women is practiced in the homes of Christians, we have lost the plot!

Domestic violence does not always end when the victim escapes the abuser. Often, it intensifies because the abuser feels a loss of control over the victim.

One church circuit in the Southern Highland has decided to do something about it.
On Thursday Oct 31, the women of Upper Mendi, including female teachers at a nearby primary school, dressed in black as a sign of mourning and marched solemnly through their community of Pongol and Wongia. They stopped at market places along the way where they gave speeches decrying violence against women.
When they reached their place of ministry, they attracted quite a large audience. Sermons and drama depicting violence in the home were presented by the women. The minister, Rev Komuna, said the message was well-received by the people, especially the men, who were challenged to change the way they treated their wives.
Because of its success, the programme for next year will include inviting other churches to participate.
“Our society needs a combined effort from churches to stand together against this big problem,” he said.
Finally, God’s word is above culture. Let us rise above cultural teachings that are wrong, and start to live as the Bible says. We must show respect for the women in our lives – our mothers, sisters, daughters and our wives! Only then will PNG move forward as a blessed nation under God!

Australian teenager Emai Owen was burned in a fire as a baby in PNG — but she insists she's lucky

By Suzie Raines - ABC News

Emai Owen describes herself as a "glass half full" person. 

When she was five months old, she was so badly burnt in a fire in a remote village in Papua New Guinea her head was fused to her neck.

Her mother believes it was a deliberate act of violence perpetrated because of a land dispute.

Since that attack in 2004 she's had 19 reconstructive surgeries. Now at 15 years old, she lives in Melbourne and counts herself lucky.

"Me getting burnt in that fire was heartbreaking," she said.

"Do I wish that it never happened? No.

"That probably seems like a pretty odd thing to say, but if I didn't get burnt in the fire, I wouldn't be here."

WARNING: This story contains images that some readers may find distressing

'It's not worth trying to save her, just let her go up to God'

PHOTO: Emai as a baby sitting on her mother Elsie's shoulders.(Supplied)

Emai's mother, Elsie Owen, believes her daughter was deliberately placed in the fire by enemies of the family, an act of violence perpetrated because of an ongoing land dispute.

"People lifted her from her bed and deliberately pushed her face into the fire and that's how she got burnt," Mrs Owen told the ABC.

She detailed what happened in a statutory declaration — an official document signed and declared to be true in the presence of an authorised witness.

In that document, Mrs Owen recounts walking from her village of Musave to stay a night in the neighbouring village of Katipro so she could take Emai to a clinic for immunisations the following day.

Both Musave and Katipro are very remote villages in PNG's Eastern Highlands.

Mrs Owen said she left baby Emai on a bed in her deceased parents' hut, surrounded by objects, and went to wash in a stream.

PHOTO: Emai Owen's burns fused her neck to her forearm. She required multiple reconstructive surgeries. (Supplied)

She said she was gone about 20 minutes and on returning to the house, found Emai in the fire.

"The cooking pots [on the fire] and wire frame had been removed and she had been pushed to the centre," Mrs Owen said in the declaration.

"Her mouth was full of ash and she made no sound.

"I believe she was deliberately harmed by persons in the village who had an ongoing disputation with my family."

Emai was rushed to a nearby health centre where they applied sugar paste, toothpaste and aloe vera to her burns.

It took Emai's parents five hours to carry her from the village to the nearest hospital in the town of Goroka.

"They said in their own words it's not worth trying to save her, just let her go up to God," Emai said.

"Basically, there wasn't anything they could do, [they] were just telling my parents that they should just let me die."

'The most severe burns I'd treated at that age'

PHOTO: Surgeon Christopher Coombs said Emai's burns were the most severe he'd seen in a child her age. (Supplied)

Despite her severe burns, Emai survived in Goroka Hospital for almost a year before an Australian nurse found her.

Arrangements were made with the Goroka Rotary Club and Children First Foundation for Emai to be medically evacuated to Australia.

PHOTO: Emai has had 19 reconstructive surgeries after the fire fused her head to her shoulder. (Supplied)

"When she came to Australia, she was one of the most severe burn survivors I'd treated at that age," said reconstructive surgeon Christopher Coombs.

"She was only about a year and a half old and because they had limited ways to treat her, she ended up with severe scarring. In fact the side of her face was welded to the forearm."

Since arriving in Melbourne in 2004, Geoff Clarke and his late wife Catharine McKean have supported Emai, who lives at their home in East Melbourne.

"When she was small she sometimes got stared at by other small children and she found that distressing, but that's all passed now," Mr Clarke said.

"I think she's had a very normal life to date apart from all the surgeries she's had."

PHOTO: Emai is a keen basketball player. (Supplied)

The teenager said she's grateful for her education at her Melbourne school.

Her childhood injuries haven't stopped her from pursuing her passions, like shooting hoops with her basketball team and playing the drums.

"I believe in every bad situation, there comes a good situation out of it," she said.

Along her road to recovery, Emai was granted a protection visa and Australian Citizenship.

PHOTO: Emai is thriving in Australia where she is able to pursue her passions, like music. (ABC News)

Emai's parents believe their child would be at risk of harm if she returned to Musave village.

Mrs Owen's statutory declaration reveals further details about attacks perpetrated against her family because of the land dispute.

"My parents were poisoned in 2003 and 2004. Family enemies sought the services of sorcerers to disempower them, and enable the delivery of a lethal injection of chemicals," she said in the document.

The Home Affairs department declined to comment on Emai's case, but reiterated the purpose of a protection visa is to safeguard people who cannot return to their home country "due to a well-founded fear of persecution or risk of harm".

Pervasive violence in PNG

PHOTO: Emai had an emotional reunion with her family in PNG after not seeing them for two years. (Supplied)

Mr Clarke and Emai travelled to Papua New Guinea to visit Emai's parents in June, and they met in the town of Goroka because of safety concerns.

"There is a significant underlaying problem of sorcery being believed in and people with injuries or disabilities bringing bad luck to the village," Mr Clarke said.

"There's been a rise in sorcery recently with innocent people being accused of being witches and these people are being brutally, brutally dealt with."

Violence is not uncommon in remote PNG and children can be attacked or caught in the crossfire, said Denga Ilave, operations director of Femili PNG.

"Sorcery-related accusations and violence — it's a reality in PNG," she said.

"Especially up in the highlands, the dangers surrounding this type of accusation are a reality that affects women and children … and it puts life at risk."

She said there was the persistent threat of accused sorcerer's houses being burned down or people being forced from their homes, and police are sometimes too afraid to intervene.

"They lose everything they own and in fear of their life, they will try to run away to escape the violence," she said.

"If the community people outnumber the police officers, it can be risky for our police to intervene."

PHOTO: Geoff Clarke and his late wife supported Emai to build a new life in Australia. (ABC News)

It was an emotional reunion for Emai and her family in PNG, but Mr Clarke says she's thriving in Australia and is a person with "great inner strength".

"She was born with spirit, and she tackles everything with spirit," he said.

Go to this link for more: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-08-15/how-girl-from-remote-png-survived-a-fire-in-land-dispute-attack/11412190?fbclid=IwAR23tcBz6ZSExOz0BV6rVwOdtYING6vsZGSKjqd4Z4sKaQAMgcwxo8iKAwg

Supporting Repatriation, Relocation and Reintegration to save lives for victims of Sorcery-Related Violence in Papua New Guinea.

By Casper Damien - PNG Blogs

This article is focused on support to survivors of violence from the sorcery-related violence in Papua New Guinea. Its aim is to helping venerable people at risk to get away from the community where they are in danger and settle in another community where they can feel safe and reestablish their lives.

In Papua New Guinea, special attention must be given to address violence against women and girls. Sorcery related violence against women is all against human rights, unacceptable and humiliating. Sorcery related violence is a serious concern right now in PNG because of constant physical violence and killing that involves men and women and children.

In this very unappealing state of affairs, does the government has a plan for Ending Violence against Women in addressing sorcery-related violence and the activity of repatriation, relocation and reintegration of the survivors/victims in the country? Does the government partners with International Non-government organizations to end sorcery based violence in PNG? It is a very important question and the government has a vital role to play together with its partners to achieve its plan in committing itself to promote women’s rights and freedom to life and promote gender equality and the empowerment of women in PNG.

There are numerous International Non-government organizations in the country doing so much to help victims of sorcery-related violence in the country. One of the strategies used to help victims of Sorcery-related violence is to repatriate and relocate victims to a safer location and to support them to re-establish their lives again through its program of Ending Violence against women in PNG. 

This strategies includes what action and how each International NGOs will take to better use its local partners, Human Rights Defender Network, Provincial and Local Level Government authorities, Churches, Law enforcement agencies, Health Department, Local Peace Mediators and Leaders, and vital safe programs to make a lasting difference ending sorcery-related violence against women in PNG.

The Government and International NGOs should have an action plan that must compliment objectives of ending violence against women in the country. The ending violence against women program is vital to provide support for those subject to, or at high risk of, violence in all its manifestation. There should be an urgent support to provide through International NGOs’ involvement with local partners in its service provision of counselling, safe-house accommodation, paralegal advice, and referral to specialist service providers. In a situation where violence is so serious, appropriate action is needed to repatriate the survivor, and normally it brings sharp relief to victims.

The primary motivation for supporting repatriation and relocation is to save lives for victims of gender-based and sorcery-related violence in Papua New Guinea. All measures to combat violence against women must proceed from the needs of the victims. Thanks to many international NGOs with the support of its partners have taken a huge step forward by providing support and protection to those victims who are exposed to such violence. However, to address in supporting repatriation and relocation of victims of violence, the International NGOs alone cannot do it, closer cooperation among the various actors/partners including the relevant government agencies is essential if efforts to support relocation and reintegration programs for the victims are fully supported. The plan for victims of violence is not only repatriating and relocating them to safer sites/place, but it has made available services such as reintegration program for victims so they get the best support to help them find new homes with a life free of violence.

The high prevalence cases of gender-based and sorcery-related violence against women in PNG needs direct intervention from relevant government agencies and other organizations such as concern NGOs, Churches, and international humanitarian organizations. Most efforts by International NGOs and its partners to date have focused on saving victims of Gender-based Violence and Sorcery related Violence against women through its program “Ending Violence against Women in PNG.”  In most cases, the responses to victims/survivors are limited with most women lacking access to basic supports, justice and resource in cases of violence. There are many unreported cases where women are victims and are killed if there is no intervention to prevent them from further causality.  

In PNG, relevant government agencies like Department of Justice, Department of Community Development and Religion, voluntary organisations, NGOs, Community based organizations, and other international organizations that focus on the subject matter that have programs for violence have to develop workable models for joint action to combat men’s violence against women. These models should be based on a comprehensive, integrated approach to the problem: the woman is given the support and protection she needs, the children are given the opportunity to work through their experiences, and the man who is a perpetrator is offered programme measures to help him deal with his violent behaviour if he is brought to justice. This collaboration and service should be undertaken at the local level. The Government, for this model or program to be effective and workable, should allocate funding for these groups that have already initiated such joint efforts, to enable them to evaluate progress, and other related matters of helping relocation support.

The availability of shelters (care centres) for women seeking refuge from domestic violence and services for victims/survivors are limited. The government including the provincial and local level government have no such services available. The only providers of such services for victims of gender-based and sorcery-related violence are churches organizations and some NGOs which are challenging for both the victims/survivors and service providers.

The counselling services for victims/survivors of gender-based and sorcery-related violence, who are traumatized, including children need distinct counselling service provided by the service providers. Providing counselling and care for victims a very challenging task where professional counsellors are needed for this service. Further, service providers and hospitals should ensure that accessibility of emergency health services is free of charge for the survivors. The counselling work needed includes more counselling of perpetrators as part of rehabilitation work. Dissemination workshop participants noted the importance of strengthening the rehabilitation of perpetrators through village court processes and in prisons to reduce reoffending and to help create conditions under which survivors could return to communities.

Progress can be made in regard to the dissemination of information about women’s rights, legal and protection measures and services. The Program of ‘Ending Violence against Women’ is one medium that can raise awareness and dissemination information activities in the location of incidents of violence and organised public rallies on a regular basis. Awareness and dissemination of information about women’s right to a life free of violence will always have a positive outcome. 

One of the key measures aiming to reduce violence against women is provided to ensure the safety and liberty of the women who have been victimized or threatened with violence. The need for more legal protection and effective legal process at the national and provincial level for women will help reduce violence against women. Hence, relocation support to survivors of Gender-based and sorcery-related violence in PNG could be greatly improved if the government were to fully support it, not only through resource allocation but the development of better laws and policies. The Department of Justice and Attorney General’s Office is the appropriate government agency to take the lead in developing relevant laws and policy to combat violence against women in PNG.

The need for awareness of the repealing of the Sorcery Act 1971 (Sorcery [Repeal]) Bill 2013 is one area that needs attention. The repeal, though welcomed by many, is not seen as enough. At the same time, there is a concern that sorcery-related violence might go underground, with killing done more secretly. Since the repeal of the Sorcery Act, village courts no longer have a role in sorcery-related violence, though some continue to deal with such cases. Whether the repeal of the Sorcery Act will have the desired effect of reducing violence is not yet evident. The lack of knowledge about this repeal, and the lack of access to justice means that, in the short term, prosecutions for the murder of people accused of sorcery are not likely. 

Go to this link for more: http://www.pngblogs.com/2019/07/supporting-repatriation-relocation-and.html