Treat our women right

By Rev SEIK PITOI - The National

DOMESTIC violence is a big problem all over the world. Regardless of the level of sophistication or crudeness of the society or nation, the ugly scourge of domestic violence, or specifically, violence against women and girls, will always be found. We in PNG are no exception.

Violence in the home is the wilful intimidation or physical and sexual assault perpetrated by one partner against another, especially a domineering male over his spouse. The violence is not only physical and sexual, but also includes psychological and emotional abuse. The epidemic of domestic violence often results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death. The physical, emotional, and psychological consequences can cross generations and last a lifetime.

Abuse in relationships
There may be small tell-tale signs in a relationship that a person will become violent in later years. His hot temper or simple acts of jealousy in the beginning stages of the relationship may give him away. However, with her head in the clouds, the glassy-eyed young bride-to-be often glosses over these indicators, taking them as her boyfriend showing his affection for her.
Later, as the young couple marry and begin their journey in life together, problems may arise in time, such as marital unfaithfulness on the part of the husband who never thought he could be swayed away from the love of his life. Suddenly, he is caught out, initially denying the act, and then becoming violent to cover his wrongs. So begins the cycle of violence in the home.
Abusers gradually become more aggressive and controlling over time. They may begin with behaviours that may easily be downplayed such as possessiveness, or distrust. They may apologise profusely for their actions or try to convince the person they are abusing that they do these things out of love or care.
However, violence and control always intensify over time with an abuser, despite the apologies. What may start out as something that was first believed to be harmless (e.g., wanting the victim to spend all their time only with them because they love them so much) escalates into extreme control and abuse (e.g., threatening to kill or hurt the victim or others if they speak to family, friends, etc.).
Some examples of abusive tendencies include, but are not limited to:

• Accusing the victim of cheating;
• Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members;
• Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs;
• Controlling every penny spent in the household;
• Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing;
• Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do;
• Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc;
• Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone);
• Preventing the victim from making their own decisions;
• Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
• Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons;
• Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
• Forcing sex with others
• Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol, and;
• Preventing the victim from working or attending school, harassing the victim at either, keeping their victim up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school.

A solemn march through the community.

Domestic violence does not always end when the victim escapes the abuser. Often, it intensifies because the abuser feels a loss of control over the victim. In fact, the victim is often in the most danger directly following the escape of the relationship or when they seek help.
Unfair blame is frequently put upon the victim of abuse because of assumptions that victims choose to stay in abusive relationships. The truth is, bringing an end to abuse is not a matter of the victim choosing to leave; it is a matter of the victim being able to safely escape their abuser, the abuser choosing to stop the abuse, or others (e.g., law enforcement, courts) holding the abuser accountable for the abuse they inflict.” (Source – www.ncadv.org).

In Melanesia
Domestic violence is a big problem in Melanesia. Culturally, people are taught that females are inferior to males, and with the payment of ‘bride price”, many men think they have purchased property. That means, he can do as he likes in going out with other ladies while she is not to do or say anything because she ‘has been bought’! This is wrong.
Because many of us call ourselves Christians, we must realise that we are subject to “Biblical Culture”. God’s Word is supra-cultural, in that, it is over and above all cultures of mankind which are tainted with sin (Gen 3). While we have many wonderful traits found in our cultures, when it comes to how we are to treat our womenfolk, we must obey the Bible. The Bible tells us:

• Woman was created from the body of man – not from his head to rule over him; nor from his feet to be trampled on by him – but from his side, to stand equal with him! (Gen 2:21-22). Treat your wife as your equal in God’s eyes.
• God has His roles for marriage spelt out in the Bible:
• Women are to submit to and respect their husband as their family head, as they would to the Lord (Eph 5:22, 23). Respect his place of authority. When making decisions, make helpful suggestions, but allow him the final say. If it fails, he wears it – not you!

However, before we charge the Bible with male chauvinism, please note the balance to this –

• Men are to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church and died for her (Eph 5: 25). Jesus forgave the church (His Bride) of her sins, loves and cares for her, provides for her and protects her. He also died for her to give her life. That is what God expects of every husband to do for his wife, and no less. A man is to sacrificially love and respect his wife, provide for her and protect her – not hurt her! Only when a man loves his wife unconditionally will she show heartfelt submission to his headship!
• A man sets examples for his sons by how he treats the women in his home. His love and respect for his wife (their mother) and his daughters will set a worthy example for his sons to follow. Sons who abuse their wives usually grew up witnessing abuse of their mother by their father. And so the cycle continues.

In society, the church is called upon to preach against violence against women and girls. The church has a moral duty to teach what the bible says about gender equity, respect for women and girls, and God’s plan for the home. The best way to “preach” this to the community is “live” it.
Pastors, church leaders and members should love and honour their wives in such a way that non-believers will begin take note. But when violence against women is practiced in the homes of Christians, we have lost the plot!

Domestic violence does not always end when the victim escapes the abuser. Often, it intensifies because the abuser feels a loss of control over the victim.

One church circuit in the Southern Highland has decided to do something about it.
On Thursday Oct 31, the women of Upper Mendi, including female teachers at a nearby primary school, dressed in black as a sign of mourning and marched solemnly through their community of Pongol and Wongia. They stopped at market places along the way where they gave speeches decrying violence against women.
When they reached their place of ministry, they attracted quite a large audience. Sermons and drama depicting violence in the home were presented by the women. The minister, Rev Komuna, said the message was well-received by the people, especially the men, who were challenged to change the way they treated their wives.
Because of its success, the programme for next year will include inviting other churches to participate.
“Our society needs a combined effort from churches to stand together against this big problem,” he said.
Finally, God’s word is above culture. Let us rise above cultural teachings that are wrong, and start to live as the Bible says. We must show respect for the women in our lives – our mothers, sisters, daughters and our wives! Only then will PNG move forward as a blessed nation under God!

We’re women, not witches

By ROBERTA STALEY
| Ms Magazine | Extract

WASHINGTON DC - Paul Petrus speaks softly about the part he played in the rescue of an accused witch.

Anna (not her real name), a young woman in her mid-twenties, was being tortured by villagers outside Mount Hagen in the Western Highlands Province.

After a 2015 outbreak of tribal violence in neighbouring Enga, Anna had fled approximately 130 km to escape the conflict.

But some members of the opposing tribe recognised Anna at the Mount Hagen marketplace.

 “[They] kidnapped her … took her to an isolated place and raped her,” says Petrus, who is on a team of more than 100 human rights defenders from Mount Hagen that rescues people accused of witchcraft.

The attack took place on a Friday night. Anna managed to escape her attackers around 3am. In shock, with her clothing shredded, she staggered through the dark and stumbled into a village.

Ordinarily everyone would have been asleep, but some villagers had just interred a family member in the community cemetery and were keeping vigil over the burial site, watching for malignant spirits that might snatch the body away, Petrus says.

To the family holding vigil, Anna’s brutalised form, emerging like an apparition out of the dark, was precisely what their imaginations feared. Some of the villagers grabbed her.

They “started making a big fire and started burning her private parts by heating up machetes,” Petrus says. At 4am, he received an urgent phone call for help from the village pastor.

Petrus ran to the police station and arrived at the scene shortly after 6:30am in a cruiser driven by a woman officer. Together, they bundled the victim, now reeking of burned flesh, into the car and drove her to Mount Hagen General Hospital.

Part of Petrus’ rescue work involves training the public in how to react when an individual is in imminent danger from witch hunters; the pastor was one of those trained by Petrus. More people should take part, Petrus says, because the “issues of sorcery [are] starting to escalate.”

Animism and ancestor worship are part of the belief system of many Papua New Guineans, especially those in remote inland areas.

Sanguma is the word used to describe witchcraft—possession of an individual by a spirit, which is reputed to take the form of an animal such as a frog.

The terms sorcery and witchcraft are used interchangeably, although the former usually refers to potions and spells rather than a personal power that can be used for good or ill.

Only in the past few generations have many Papua New Guineans been exposed to belief systems other than their own, since first contact with tribes in the interior occurred as late as the 1930s.

The country’s diversity is remarkable: There are upward of 850 languages, each dialect representing a unique cultural group in this small, developing nation of 8.6 million people.

Moreover, the isolation of many tribal communities, living in a subsistence economy in dense mountain rainforests, has further insulated people from outside influence. As a result, the government has only just recently begun to deal with the problem of witch burnings.

In 2013, 20-year-old Kepari Leniata was accused of witchcraft following the death of a neighbour’s son from ill health. She was burned alive on a pyre built of rubber tires in Mount Hagen, in front of a crowd of people.

Her death triggered the repeal of the Sorcery Act, which made murder legal if the victim practiced sorcery. Later a Sorcery National Action Plan was unveiled, a group of church leaders and human rights advocates who promote a holistic approach to sanguma accusations, including helping victims, stopping accusations and using the law to punish those who perpetrate violence.

A decade or so ago, sanguma had been isolated to a few provinces like Chimbu but then came dramatic societal shifts: dislocation and family breakdown due to unbridled natural resource extraction.

This plus increased HIV/AIDS, a rise in alcohol and drug abuse and afflictions like diabetes and heart disease—frayed the social fabric.

Consequently, sanguma beliefs spread.

A study, ‘Ten Preliminary Findings Concerning Sorcery Accusation-Related Violence in Papua New Guinea’, released this year by the Australia National University indicated that since 2016 there have been 357 incidents of sorcery accusations in Enga and Bougainville as well as some in the capital, Port Moresby. Of these 357 incidents, 117 led to violence against 185 victims.

Human Rights Watch corroborates the reports of violence, stating in 2016 that “PNG is one of the most dangerous places in the world to be a woman, with the majority of women experiencing rape or assault in their lifetime.” In 2018, the organisation further reported that sorcery accusation-related violence was “unabated, with women and girls the primary targets.”

Yet another challenge to stopping anti-sanguma superstition is the country’s low literacy rate—at 63% in 2015.

Go to this link for more: https://www.pngattitude.com/2019/11/were-women-not-witches.html

Ruby-Anne Laufa Trial Update

Posted on EMTV News Online

The accused in the murder of former Miss PNG Ruby-Anne Laufa is expected to testify in court at 9:30am tomorrow (Monday 30th September).

Richard Namaliu who has been charged with manslaughter in 2017 will be the main witness in the case between him and the state (representing the deceased).

His four day trial began last Wednesday (25th September 2019) and will end tomorrow.

He pleaded not guilty at the start of the trial.

Namaliu, who was deceased boyfriend at the time of her death, picked her up from her family home at Fort Banner, on their way out of the UPNG residential area the late Ruby-Anne fell out of the car and sustained head injuries.

She was rushed to a private hospital and later to Port Moresby General Hospital, but died hours later.

So far, seven witnesses have testified including late Ruby-Anne's father Maurice Laufa and the two security guards who were on duty at the time of the incident.

Late Ruby-Anne died from head injuries on 11th February 2017.

An autopsy report conducted on 13th February 2017 revealed that late Ruby-Anne's face had swelling around her eyes and bruises on her lips.